


Love in Balance

by luxshine



Category: NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxshine/pseuds/luxshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For every light, there is a shadow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shine

Joey can’t pinpoint the exact moment when he started watching Chris. He can, and will, pinpoint when he decided Chris was his favorite. It was the day when Chris accepted Lance as the fifth member of the group. Joey likes them all, but Lance is becoming his best friend, and Lance is special. Since Chris made it possible for Joey to meet Lance, Chris is Joey’s favorite.

Somewhere between then and the night, Joey started paying more and more attention to Chris, which was why he was watching Chris when it happened.

The first time Joey noticed was while singing “I Thought She Knew” in the middle of a concert. He usually didn’t look at the others, since he was too focused on his part – it was one of his very few solo parts, he enjoyed it- but this time he had turned to see Chris as he sang, and to his surprise, Chris was shining. It wasn’t that noticeable under the stage lights, but it was unmistakable if one was actually paying attention.

Joey was so surprised that he almost lost his place on the song.

After that, Joey decided to keep a closer watch on Chris. He was all too willing to chalk that first time up to a light effect. People didn’t shine. But Chris did.

Chris didn’t always shine, Joey realized afterwards. It was only in special moments, which explained why no one else noticed. But once Joey had seen it, he couldn’t simply not see. He couldn’t help but feel drawn to Chris’s light.

There were other things about Chris that Joey started noticing after he saw the light, so to speak. Small things that Joey tried to ignore, as he found them increasingly annoying, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t ignore that he couldn’t be alone with Chris in a room because people were drawn to Chris. Everyone was happier around Chris, so they were always looking for him. If Justin had a fight with Britney, he would go looking for Chris, and Chris would joke and tease him and suddenly, Justin would be in a great mood again. If JC had a writer’s block, he would come into whatever room Chris was in, and start writing after a couple of minutes. Even Lance, who seemed to dislike the fact that Chris couldn’t stay still for more than ten minutes, looked for Chris’s company, usually when Joey wanted to be alone with Chris.

Joey didn’t miss the fact that whenever those things happened, Chris was softly shinning. Or that no one seemed to notice.

Sometimes, Joey thought that Chris didn’t know he was shining.

Joey didn’t care, of course. He had decided that he wanted Chris. All that time watching him had made him realize that Chris was hot, and that was not counting the glow. The glow might draw everyone else towards Chris, but it was Chris’s personality what drew Joey in. The glow, the purity of it, was only an added bonus.

But he waited to make his move. He didn’t want to rush things, and he had the feeling that Chris was not going to be an easy conquest. The fact that he didn’t want Chris to be just another notch on his belt was duly filed in the back of his mind.

It was easier to see the glow at night, of course, so Joey found himself looking for excuses to hang around Chris after concerts, just to catch a glimpse of that warm, white light.

And that was the only reason why he found out about Chris’s real secret. One night, after yet another concert where he felt that Chris’s own light could outshine the stage lights, he went straight into Chris’s room, not even bothering to knock.

“Hey, Chris, wanna go out?” He asked, although the last part of his question died on his lips. Chris was taking off his shirt, looking at him with a puzzled expression.

He was shining, but that hadn’t been what shocked Joey. What shocked Joey was that for the first time since he had noticed it, the glow had a definitive shape.

The shape of a pair of feathered wings, on Chris’s back.

“Sorry, Joe, I’m dead tired,” Chris answered. There was nothing in his tone that could hinted that maybe Joey was seeing something he shouldn’t. “Tomorrow maybe?”

“Sure thing,” Joey managed to answer, turning around. Chris doesn’t know I saw it, he kept repeating in his mind. Chris doesn’t know I can see the glow.

However, now he knew what the glow meant, and why no one else noticed it.

No one else could notice it.

“Oh, fuck,” he muttered, leaning against the door of his room.


	2. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey is surrounded by darkness, Chris wants to know why.

Chris has always been attracted to the dark. He knows that, and he knows that it’s the cause of most of his problems.

Still, he can’t help it. He loves the dark as much as he loves the light.

Maybe that’s the reason why he likes Joey so much. While no one would understand why he identifies Joey with the dark, Chris has always felt that there’s darkness surrounding Joey.

It’s in the way he moves, in the way he watches people. The way he acts sometimes.

Chris can’t say that Joey is a bad man, but sometimes, when he sees the long line of one night stands that Joey enjoys, the way in which he influences Justin, JC and Lance, Chris can’t help but wonder if it was a good idea to ask Joey to join the group.

The first time he noticed, when he realized that there was darkness behind the smiling eyes of his bandmate, had been while rehearsing Space Cowboy. They had been working on that particular set of steps for at least two hours, since there was something in the hip thrust that Wade still didn’t like, when Chris happened to catch Joey’s eyes in the mirror. They were completely black, and in them Chris could read desire, lust, and danger.

Chris had suddenly understood why girls at clubs found it so hard to say no to Joey.

After that, Chris started to pay more attention to Joey. He was willing to chalk that first time to a light effect. After all, under the right light, even Chris’s eyes looked black. Not with the emotions he had seen on Joey’s eyes, but Chris was trying to ignore that.

But then he realized that Joey’s eyes were not only darker than normal, sometimes they shone when the light hit them right. And then they didn’t look brown. They looked red. And Chris couldn’t help but feel drawn to them.

There were other things about Joey that Chris started noticing after that. Small things that Chris tried to ignore, since they were increasingly worrying, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t ignore that Busta seemed to hate Joey. The small dog was quite friendly, but it would always growl softly when Joey was around. It was not only Busta, though. Joey seemed to be one of those people who simply couldn’t be near animals. It wasn’t that Joey was allergic, it was just that animals didn’t like him. He couldn’t ignore that, sometimes, Joey’s mere presence seemed to ignite fights over the silliest things. Never among the group, they couldn’t function if that happened, but among the crew. And almost always after Chris had seen that red glow behind Joey’s eyes.

Chris didn’t miss the fact that he was the only one who had noticed that red glow.

Sometimes, Chris thought that Joey wasn’t aware of it.

Whatever the reason behind the red glow, Chris had decided that it didn’t matter. What mattered was that it had helped him realize that he cared for Joey. He had fun with Joey, he could forget his worries around Joey -whenever Joey wasn’t the reason for his worries- and the red glow, the darkness, those were things Chris could live with, as long as he kept them in the back of his mind.

But he also was a bit afraid of Joey. As the tour had progressed, Joey had started watching Chris more closely than usual. While Chris enjoyed that, because that meant he could spend time with Joey, it also scared him. Joey’s eyes always glowed when he invited Chris out.

Still, Chris liked Joey. So sometimes, when they were all asleep, he would sneak into Joey’s room to watch him sleep. Asleep, Joey looked almost innocent.

And that was the only reason why he found out about Joey’s real secret. One night, after yet another concert where he could almost taste Joey’s lust, not towards him, but towards everyone, he waited until Joey fell asleep to walk in. That night, Joey had invited him out, but Chris had refused. Joey had looked rejected, but Chris just couldn’t go. He had felt too scared, like prey to a hunter.

Asleep, Joey didn’t look like a hunter, so Chris gathered all his courage and passed his hand through Joey’s disheveled hair.

He stopped in mid-movement, as Joey sighed softly.

But not because he thought that Joey would wake up. Chris wasn’t worried about that. He was worried because under Joey’s hair he had felt something that shouldn’t be there. Hardness.

Carefully, he parted Joey’s hair where he had felt the hardness, and found a small horn. Chris was pretty sure that on the other side of Joey’s head he could find its twin.

Joey had horns.

A lot of things suddenly made sense to Chris. Joey’s obsession with Lance of all people. His apparently endless lust. The way he watched Chris as if he knew.

Joey rolled over to his side, dragging the covers with him, and Chris was horrified to see yet another piece of damning evidence. On the base of Joey’s spine, he could see a tail. He couldn’t see the end of it, but Chris figured it would be pointed.

Very slowly, very carefully to keep Joey from waking up and finding him there, Chris fled to his room.

“Oh, dear lord,” he muttered, leaning against the closed door.


	3. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey and Chris have been keeping secrets from each other.

Joey emptied his tenth beer in just one gulp. Not for the first time in his existence, he wished he could get drunk. Sure, it was amusing to see how people would try to out drink him, and usually it was fun to see them do things they would usually not do with the help of a lot of alcohol and a couple of well placed suggestions, but it wasn’t the same as actually getting drunk.

Drunk enough to forget.

Chris was an angel. His Chris, his shining Chris, was a fucking angel. The enemy.

Joey waved his empty glass at the bartender, asking for a refill. As soon as the concert had ended, he changed clothes and headed to the nearest bar, not waiting for any of the others. He needed time to think.

He had been on Earth more or less for almost forty years, if his calculations were correct. In those forty years, he had never seen one of *them* not even at a distance. Joey knew that unlike demons, angels liked to stay invisible to the human eyes. There were no reports of them being visible. An angel working as a mortal was completely unheard of.

Joey chuckled before taking a drink from his new glass. Chris had always been the unpredictable one of the group. If there was an angel who would work as a mortal, of course it would be Chris.

He could admit that he had panicked upon seeing Chris’s wings. Angels and demons didn’t mix. Those were the rules. At least, Joey hoped those were still the rules. He had been incommunicado for too long.

Around his twentieth beer, he realized that nothing had really changed. Chris could be an angel, but Joey still wanted him.

He licked his lips. It was even possible that he wanted Chris more now that he knew exactly what kind of purity he would be corrupting.

That was a brilliant idea, in Joey’s not so humble opinion. If he seduced Chris, he would kill two birds with the same stone.

First, he would get Chris. He could grab that warm light for himself and then keep it, not sharing it with anyone else.

Second, when he did that, he would’ve made an angel fall. And that had to be enough to get him a ticket home.

* * *

Chris looked at his beer, sighing. It was his first and only beer of the night, not because he could get drunk, but because he still had to set some sort of example. Normally, he forgot about that, and ended up drinking until whomever he was with decided it was enough. At the moment, he didn’t feel as if he could allow himself the luxury of forgetting.

Even if he wanted to forget.

Joey was a demon. His Joey, his dark Joey, was one of the damned. The enemy.

He took a small sip of his beer, because if he had a glass in front of him, it would look strange if he didn’t drink from it. As soon as the concert had ended, he changed clothes and headed to the nearest bar, not waiting for any of the others. He needed time to think.

He had been on Earth more or less for almost forty years, if his calculations were correct. In those forty years, he had never seen one of them, not even at a distance. Chris had heard that unlike angels, demons did appear in the mortal world from time to time. They were trained to see them. But demons never stayed in one place for long. A demon living a human life was completely unheard of.

Chris chuckled, lowering his head. Of course, Joey wasn’t like anyone he had known. He was unpredictable, chaotic. And if there was a demon who would live as a mortal, of course it would’ve Joey.

He could admit that he had panicked upon feeling Joey’s horns. Demons and angels didn’t mix. Those were the rules. And rules in heaven didn’t change. He might have been incommunicado for almost forty years, but he was sure rules didn’t change.

Three hours later, he realized that nothing had really changed. Joey could be a demon, but there were no rules against loving demons. Not that he knew of.

He smiled. Sure, Joey was a demon, a fallen angel. But that made Chris want to love him even more. Because he wouldn’t be only winning Joey’s love. There was another advantage.

If he loved Joey, if he could teach Joey to love, he would get two birds with the same stone.

First, he would have Joey. He could love Joey, and feel Joey’s love, which was reward enough on itself.

Second, when he did that, he would have rescued a fallen soul. Brought back one of the fallen. And that had to be enough to get him a ticket home.

* * *

Lance was a very patient man. Or at least, he liked to think he was a very patient man. But Joey and Chris were driving him insane.

Since he joined the group, he had felt as if they both had singled him out somehow. Joey had taken him under his wing, so to speak, and started teaching him the ropes of the show business world. It didn’t matter that Joey’s only experience had been in the Beetlejuice’s show, he acted as if he was an old pro; familiar with the parties, the backstabbing and everything that went on behind closed doors.

Chris, on the other hand, was like the brother Lance had never wished for. Sometimes, Chris was the older brother, the one who gave him sound advice, helped him to remain somewhat untouched by the dark side of the business, the one he could count on. Most of the time, however, Chris was like a younger brother, making him worry, laugh, and yes, sometimes want to lock him in the nearest supply closet, usually with Joey’s help.

Somewhere between their first European Tour and when the troubles started to pile up at Transcon, Joey and Chris got into their heads that there was only one ‘best friend’ slot in Lance’s life, and they both started competing to get it. Why didn’t they understood that Lance considered the four other members of *N Sync his newest best friends, Lance didn’t know, but at first it wasn’t a problem.

When Chris spent time with Lance, Joey was busy with JC. When Joey was spending time with Lance, ‘showing him the ways of the world’ – and one day Lance would tell Joey that he already knew the ways of the world but, back then, Lance was deadly afraid of what Joey would think if he knew what was going on in Lance’s mind - Chris was usually doing some damage control with Justin.

Or some damage, more accurately. There were days in which Lance swore that Chris was an overgrown three-year old.

Once they were away from Transcon, Lance had foolishly believed that he would have more freedom to pursue what he really wanted. He was aware that he needed to be discreet, but even so he was hoping to be able to life live a little and not see it pass before his eyes through innumerable hotel windows.

And, at least for six months, he had that freedom.

Until something happened, Lance didn’t know exactly why, and suddenly Joey and Chris seemed to be fighting for his attention.

Whenever Joey had plans, Chris came up with something that sounded equally good. He would plead, coax and beg if necessary, and Lance invariably ended up caving and canceling his plans with Joey to go out with Chris. He would’ve felt guilty if it wasn’t for the fact that Joey did the same thing whenever Chris had plans.

They wouldn’t leave him alone except during shows. Lance was starting to feel like a kid in an old cartoon, with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

Only it was two devils in his case.

The worst part of it all was that he was never alone. Any plans he made had to consider the fact that Joey and Chris would tag along. Either they invited themselves when he made those plans, or they ‘casually’ appeared wherever he went, always arriving separately but always together.

It was driving Lance insane.

He didn’t have any privacy left to speak of, and every single one of his decisions seemed to be second-guessed by Chris or Joey, for different reasons.

Lance was convinced that if those two ever agreed on something the world would end. Because they even argued about how Lance deserved to have his privacy, as long as it wasn’t out of their sight.

Lance also knew that whatever game Chris and Joey were playing, it didn’t really have to do with him. It was a lot more about each other. That was something anyone could see. They lived to see the other, Joey’s eyes were always following Chris, and Chris didn’t seem to be happy unless he was 100% sure where Joey was.

It was the day when he realized that, that Lance began to plan how to get those two idiots to admit their feelings, and finally achieve some peace.

* * *

Joey knew that something was up when Lance stopped trying to ditch him and started looking for more excuses to pass the time together, not only when they went out but also on the bus. Where the kid usually wanted some time alone to check emails, read scripts or talk to his family, now he was asking Joey for his opinion. Lance had apparently taken seriously Joey’s offhand comment that he would like to act again, and was now looking for a role that Joey would like.

Every time he went out, he invited Joey.

In any other situation, Joey would have welcomed the opportunity to influence Lance. The kid’s soul was so pure that corrupting it had to be worth some points in his favor. Unfortunately, Lance also invited Chris. Every single time, the angel that had Joey so enthralled would be there, smiling, shining and reminding Joey of everything he was not, and of the real challenge which was trying to corrupt his shining light.

Once he had realized that Chris was an angel, he had also come to the conclusion that his friend was not a normal angel. He drank, he partied, he swore as much as anyone else. And he had a competitive streak as big as Joey’s, which Joey used to his advantage. Every time they went out, he managed to goad Chris into competing with him, into matching him drink for drink, dance for dance, and, taking advantage of the fact that neither had girlfriends, conquest for conquest.

The club that Lance had chosen that night was a well-known club in Chicago, with a large VIP section that gave Joey a big sample of victims. A little spiked drink, a small comment into someone’s ear, and he could start small snowballs that ended with the complete destruction of someone’s life.

Joey loved show business.

“I don’t think anyone will recognize us here,” Joey said looking around. It was a lie, of course. The group was big enough that sooner or later a fan would know who they were. But he had enough power to cloak them a little. For long enough for them to get comfortable, forget the roles that they were supposed to keep, and to end up photographed by some paparazzi in very compromising situations when Joey removed the cloak. “We could have fun.”

“Speak for yourself. Before you know it, Lance will be surrounded by fans, and will leave with a date on his arm,” Chris answered, smiling. He looked gorgeous when he smiled like that, the smallest hint of his angelic nature showing through. “You and I, on the other hand, can go pretty much unnoticed anywhere.”

“Wanna bet on that?” Joey knew that Chris would never accept that he was as popular as the others. He guessed it was part of the whole humility thing angels were supposed to have. Joey knew that he wasn’t as popular as Justin, but that was part of his plan for the young kid. Pride was a mortal sin, after all, and enough time of people telling him how great he was would finally take its toll on Justin. It was a matter of time. “I know I have more than what it takes to get whoever I want.”

“I’m not going to bet against you, Joe,” Chris said, raising his hands. “Not after we spent that night until closing time seeing who would score more dates.”

Joey still remembered that night. It had ended up in a tie, and, at the end he had been only having fun, not even thinking about the possibility of doing his job as a demon.

“Then what about a different kind of bet? If I don’t get a date, I’ll do whatever you want for a week. But if I leave here with someone, you’ll be my slave. What about it?”

Chris seemed to consider it a little. Joey knew that a normal angel wouldn’t fall for that trap, but Chris almost always liked an opportunity to keep Joey away from vices. It was as if the angel was worried for Joey’s soul, which was perfect for Joey because it meant that his identity as a demon was still a secret.

“Very well, I’ll enjoy having you at my beck and call,” Chris finally answered, offering Joey his hand to seal the bet.

* * *

Chris should have suspected something when Lance stopped trying to ditch him and started looking for more excuses to pass the time together, even going out of his way to invite him to spend some time on the bus Joey and Lance shared. Whenever JC and Justin wanted to spend time working on their music, Chris would gravitate to the two-man bus, to hang around both Lance and Joey.

Every time Lance went out, he invited Chris.

And normally, Chris welcomed the opportunity to watch over Lance. The kid’s soul was pure enough that leading Lance in the right path was quite easy, and ensuring his way into Heaven was Chris’s priority. Unfortunately, Lance also invited Joey. Every single time, the devil that had captured Chris’s heart would be there, smiling, covered in shadows and reminding Chris of everything that he was not supposed to want, and of the titanic job that was trying to show Joey the path to the light.

Once he had realized that Joey was a demon, he had also come to the conclusion that his friend was not like the demons he had been taught about. While he indulged in sins as much as any other human, Chris also had seen a sweeter side of Joey: a protective, warm side that only made Chris look forward to spending more time with him.

The club that Lance had chosen that night was a well known club in Chicago, with a large VIP section that gave Chris a big sample of people who needed help. When he went to clubs, he listened, he gave small advices and sometimes, it was enough to keep a soul on the right path to salvation, at least for a couple more years.

Chris loved music, but hated the business around it.

But when he went out with Joey, he barely had time to look out for the mortals in the club, having his hands full with the demon’s soul. Demons were not supposed to have souls, but Chris had faith. He was sure that Joey could be redeemed.

“Then what about a different kind of bet? If I don’t get a date, I’ll do whatever you want for a week. But if I get out of here with someone, you’ll be my slave. What about it?”

He almost didn’t hear Joey’s proposal, but when he realized what Joey was offering, Chris smiled. It was a perfect idea, he could keep Joey from getting a new victim, and if he had to do what Chris said, Joey would have to stay away from trouble for a week. Chris just couldn’t loose, if he used a bit of his influence to keep girls from noticing his friend.

It wasn’t cheating if it was for a good cause.

“Very well, I’ll enjoy having you at my beck and call,” Chris answered, offering Joey his hand to seal the bet.

* * *

As soon as Joey started hunting for his night prey, and Chris focused on him, Lance took the chance to make his escape. Which was very good for his night activities but it meant that he missed the whole show.

And without Lance around as a witness, and both Joey and Chris were too ashamed to talk about that night. No one ever knew why the next day when JC, Justin and Lance went to their bus to get back on the road, they were treated to the sight of their two bandmates lying together on the bus’s couch, idly watching t.v. Chris’s head was on Joey’s lap, and Joey was gently stroking Chris’s hair with his fingers, while changing channels every time a commercial appeared.

What happened was that no one won the bet. Every time Joey tried to score, Chris would appear at his side, ruining his chances. At one point during the night, Joey had gotten tired of it, and tried to get Chris a date so he would stop sabotaging him. They ended up dancing together until closing time, when they went back to the hotel. Chris had managed to lose the keys – a harmless prank by Joey that backfired since he couldn’t admit he had the keys without confessing he had taken them in the first place - and so they ended up going back to the bus.

Chris argued that he had won, because Joey didn’t have a date to bring back to the hotel. Joey argued that he had won, because Chris had come back with Joey, and not spent the night in his own room.

They argued about it, neither willing to give the other the victory, and somehow they ended up sitting on the couch.

Things changed between them that night, but neither wanted to acknowledge the change by speaking about it.

Thankfully, none of their friends mentioned it either.

* * *

“The bosses want to know what the fuck you think you’re doing.” The voice startled Joey so much that he dropped the bottle of water he had been holding, and was even more shocked to see that it didn’t actually fall, just stayed hovering near his hand. He turned around meeting his old boss’s annoyed glare. Of course time had stopped. Even with the powers of hell at his diposal there was no way that he could get that close to an *N Syncer again without stopping time.

“And hello to you too, Lou. What are you talking about? The bosses haven’t cared about what I do ever since that little fiasco with the King guy.” It was one of the things Joey hated to talk about. The King thing. It was as embarrassing as the Joan thing. He obviously was not the demon to start civil disobedience.

“If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t have sent me to help you,” Lou pointed out. “And if you hadn’t helped them to realize what I was doing, by now their souls would be ours. You make things very difficult, Joseph.”

“I have to keep my cover, part of the deal, remember?” Joey shook his head. “It would’ve been hard to manipulate them if they hated me for wanting to stay with you. And unlike you I do have to work to keep my cover. I don’t count on the bosses to make everyone think I’m harmless.”

“You’re doing a good work with the Bass kid. A couple more years, and you’ll have him lying to himself,” Lou chuckled. “But that’s not why I came. The bosses really are worried. We got word that there might be an angel sniffing around.”

Joey schooled his face to neutrality. For some reason, he didn’t want Lou to know about Chris. The fact that Lou didn’t know about Chris already, when it had been Lou who signed the group was strange enough. “They don’t work down here like we do, what would be an angel doing here?”

“We don’t know,” Lou admitted. “Maybe someone on their side finally realized how many people we’ve managed to get through this business and decided to send someone to try to stop it. Maybe he was just passing by. The thing is, I am supposed to tell you to keep your eyes open. You’re very vulnerable here, Joseph, and with your record…”

“Let’s not bring that up,” Joey raised his hands, interrupting Lou. He wasn’t supposed to interrupt a superior, but he didn’t want his mistakes brought up. “What do they want me to do if I run into this angel? Get him fired? Make him fall?”

“Joseph, you couldn’t make an angel fall. Just forget the idea,” Lou’s tone was patronizing, something that Joey hated. Just because Lou had condemned more than a thousand souls in less than a hundred years didn’t mean he was a better demon. “If you find out who this angel is, call me. Or any of us. You can’t go against an angel in your present state and we don’t want to lose you for another 50 years because you managed to create another King situation, or, Hell forbid, another Gandhi. So just… keep your head down. We have to figure out what they’re planning, especially if they are doing anything that will bring on the final battle before we’re ready.”

Joey nodded, and watched as Lou disappeared in a flame, not bothering to turn time back on.

His bosses knew Chris was around. They probably didn’t know it was Chris, because Chris was as far from a traditional angel as he could be without being a demon. But he was glad that he hadn’t been ordered to look for him and corrupt him.

Joey looked at his reflection, seeing the horns that were invisible to humans, and the red tint under his skin. He was a demon, but he had to admit he wasn’t a very good one. He had tried to corrupt Chris, but Chris had managed to grow on him. He still wanted the angel, he still wanted to know how would it feel to bury himself in Chris’s light, to taste his skin and his soul. But he wanted that light to keep shining, to keep making people around Chris smile and feel better. He wanted to keep that light he had been foolishly trying to turn dull.

He couldn’t corrupt Chris. So he had to leave him alone.

And that idea made his demonic heart hurt.

* * *

“We’re very worried about you, Christopher.” The voice startled Chris, who opened his wings wide, showering everything around with light. Then, he blushed because even when the wings were invisible, and he was alone in the room, he always thought he was old enough not to jump at unexpected visits from his brothers and sisters. He turns around and smiles, welcoming. It had been a long while since the last time he saw one of the others.

“Good morning, Aftiel. To what do I owe the honor of your visit?” Chris asked, turning around in a small bow. He and Aftiel were good friends, but the time away from the celestial court had made him try and return to old protocols. Aftiel was a higher rank than he was, and so she deserved respect.

“Do not bow, my friend, please,” Aftiel answered, her blond hair shining like the sun. “You’ve been doing a good job here. Even if it seems that you’re taking the long route to heal their souls.”

“Yeah, well, it helps to keep the cover if I don’t preach,” Chris laughed. “No one takes Brian Littrell seriously. So a little venial sin doesn’t hurt anyone as long as their heart is still on the path of the light, right?”

“You have always been a defendant that the result is worth whatever risk you take in your path, yes,” Aftiel laughed. “But that’s not why we are worried about you. We know that despite your mishaps you are a good angel. No. The problem is that there is a demon near you.”

Chris managed to keep his expression calm. Something in Aftiel’s voice told him that she didn’t know the demon was Joey. It was impossible that their Father didn’t know, since He knew everything, but if he hadn’t shared that particular bit of information with Aftiel, it had to be for a reason. “They don’t work like we do; demons are usually around for a long time. Why is this one important?”

“We don’t know,” Aftiel sighed. “Father knows, of course, but he ain’t telling. Mysterious ways and all that. We figure it’s something they’re doing with this business. I have no idea why they sent you here, to do this. You’re vulnerable on Earth, and we’ve lost so many souls to entertainment and with your record…”

“Let’s not bring that up,” Chris raised his hands, interrupting Aftiel. It was rude, but he really didn’t want his mistakes brought up. “What am I supposed to do if I run into this demon? Get him fired? Try and save him?”

“Christopher, I love you as my brother, but you couldn’t redeem a demon if your immortal soul was at stake. Just forget the idea,” Aftiel was laughing a little, but Chris knew she was laughing with him and not at him. The fact that Chris had accidentally caused a couple hundred deaths didn’t mean he was a bad angel. At least those souls had been saved when they died and they all were in heaven. Most of them, anyhow. “If you find out who this demon is, call me. Or any of us. You can’t go against a demon in your present state and we really don’t want to lose you for another 50 years because you tried to avoid a small evil and caused another incident like the Ferdinand one. Please, my brother, keep your head down. We have to figure out what they’re planning, especially if they are doing anything that will bring on the final battle before we’re ready. We’re pretty sure that’s not going to happen; Father wouldn’t allow it, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Chris nodded, and watched as Aftiel vanished in sparkles of light. He folded his wings, and turned to see the mirror.

His brothers and sisters knew Joey was around. They still didn’t know it was Joey, but that was because when you were around people like Lou Pearlman, who had to be a demon, or Jane Carter, who did her best to become one, Joey was just a small blip on the celestial radar. But still, he was glad he hadn’t been advised to look for Joey and try to redeem him.

Chris looked at his reflection, seeing the small glow that was invisible to humans, and the bluish tint beneath his skin. He was an angel, but he admitted that he wasn’t a very good one. He had tried to save Joey, but Joey had somehow managed to get to him. Chris still loved the demon, he still wanted to be with him, in any possible way. But he didn’t want that shadow, that hint of mischief and danger to disappear under his own light. That shadow that reminded Chris that even in darkness there could be hope. He couldn’t bring light to that darkness, because if he did, Joey would stop being Joey.

Chris couldn’t lose Joey like that. So he had to leave him alone.

And that idea made his angelic heart hurt.

* * *

After talking with Lou, Joey decided not to bother Chris anymore. He even stopped trying to lead Lance astray, since he was convinced that it wouldn’t matter in the larger scope of things. He was being lazy, and Sloth was a mortal Sin, so it had a little poetic justice. He wasn’t damning anyone but himself, and he had been damned since the day he had been created.

Sure, he still threw small hints that let Lance know that even though Joey was his friend, and would back him all the way, he still should hide himself. For the group. For the fans. And he always reminded Justin how everyone said that Justin could make it big solo, but his heart wasn’t really in it.

The problem with Joey was that he got attached to humans. He wanted them to get condemned, of course, but that was his job. It was what was expected of him. But sometimes, in between, he would take a liking to a human, and then he wouldn’t be able to lead them directly to their fall. That was a new development. Usually, his mistakes were only mistakes, like with Joan. His original plan had been to make her crazy, to make her believe that she was the chosen one and let her pride do the rest.

She had decided she was a tool of God’s will. Gone and gave France hope, and became a Saint in the process.

No. He hadn’t gotten attached until he began living as a human -living with Chris- and he wished he could blame the angel.

“Joey, are you sure of this?” Take Kelly, for example. She was now as big as a house and that was Joey’s work. Not that the kid was his. Rule #1 was no procreating with humans. But he had convinced Kelly to lose her virginity to him when she was sixteen and he was pretending to be seventeen and that had been the first step on the road that led her to the bed of the man who got her pregnant and then disappeared into thin air.

“I’m sure, Kel,” he said, smiling and putting his arm around her. The usual plan in that situation was to look for whatever would make the girl suffer the most. Either tell her to keep the baby, who would ruin her life and make her hate the innocent child forever, or tell her to abort, and doom her to a lifetime of nightmares and regrets. “I’ll help you with the little tyke, and we’ll say she’s mine. Neither of you will want for anything.”

*That* was definitively not in the plan. But once Joey had seen the little blur in the first ultrasound that Kelly had shown him -when he had felt that little, innocent soul form- he hadn’t been able to step away. If anyone asked him, of course, he was doing it because he would be getting the chance to corrupt a soul from birth, a rare situation. But the truth was that he wanted to see that little baby grow.

He was a disaster as a demon.

“You’re sweet,” Kelly said, kissing his cheek. Joey knew that if any of his superiors found out, there would be a price to pay. And his superiors would find out, as soon as the news found its way to a newspaper. He didn’t care. Instead, he decided to change his will, name Kelly’s daughter his sole heir.

If the worst came to happen, at least he could console himself with the idea that maybe the girl’s father would reappear, filled with greed.

* * *

After talking with Aftiel, Chris decided not to bother Joey anymore. While he kept working on trying to keep Lance, Justin and JC as safe as they could be, he just didn’t get near *N Sync’s resident demon. He couldn’t stop trying to save people, but he wasn’t stopping them if they wanted to damn themselves.

Sure, he still tried to subtly convince Lance that it was ok to be whatever he wanted, as long as he was true to himself. And he always tried to remind Justin that he had friends, brothers who would always back him up as long as he didn’t forget them, but sometimes his heart wasn’t n it.

The problem with Chris was that he couldn’t really believe that all humans had something worth saving. He tried to save them all, but that was his job. It was what was expected of him. But sometimes, in between, there were humans he truly believed didn’t deserve to be saved. Jane Carter was the leader of the list, although that was recent development. Before, his mistakes were only mistakes, small problems that came from focusing on the immediate future and not the big picture, like with the archduke Ferdinand. The man was dangerous, he had already killed two innocent woman in Austria, so Chris had decided that it was better to save the other eight that would fall under his knife, influencing someone to kill him – someone who was already damned too. Murder was still a mortal sin, and Chris was no going to damn someone who could be redeemed.

How was Chris supposed to know that getting rid of that man would cause World War II?

No. He hadn’t gotten really disillusioned until he began living as a human. Living with Joey. He sure wished he could blame the demon.

“Chris, are you paying attention?” Unfortunately, Joey was one of the reasons why he just couldn’t lose his faith in humanity. He had just informed them that Kelly, his girlfriend, was pregnant and it was his kid. Now, Chris knew that was a lie. Rule #1 was no procreating with humans, and not even demons broke that particular rule. No, Chris knew that Kelly’s baby’s father was probably a slimeball, like so many he had known ever since he started living as a human.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he answered, smiling at Joey. He didn’t know Chris was an angel, much less that Chris knew Joey was a demon, and Chris wanted to keep it that way. “So, when will the princess be born?”

He knew that he had to be suspicious. Why would a demon want to help a single mother and her innocent newborn, anyway? But he saw Joey’s smile when he talked about the unborn one, when he showed them the ultrasound pictures, and he truly believed that Joey wanted to be there for that baby. At the same time, he wished the worst type of hell for the baby’s real father.

He was a disaster as an angel.

“Around March,” Joey said, looking ready to burst from pride. And that worried Chris, because he knew that there was no way they would be able to keep that Joey Fatone from *N Sync was going to be a father from the gossip colums, and when that happened, Joey’s brothers would know that Joey was breaking the demons’ second rule.

Chris didn’t know any demon besides Joey, but he was pretty sure that doing a good deed and helping a human to keep her innocence had to bring a huge punishment.

And he couldn’t help but worry for Joey’s well-being.

* * *  
Every time the group planned a tour, they changed the show. It had to be bigger, better and more spectacular to make the fans forget all about the previous one. They had started rappelling down to the stage and now they had a complicated trap system, lasers and treadmills.

JC was sure that one day, there would be an accident. He just hoped it was during rehearsals, and with one of the simpler stunts. He didn’t mind if he broke a tooth with the microphone, like Justin, as long as nothing failed when they were standing high above the stage on the small platforms for the God Must Have Spent number.

He didn’t share his worries with the others, because he knew that nothing he said would be of any help. He supposed everyone had their own doubts and fears, and that they all kept silent because, in the end, the important thing was the show.

All that went through his mind when he turned around just in time to see Joey miss one step as they were walking on their new stage for the first time, and he saw the trap, the one where Joey was supposed to go to get up on the stage again, come up unexpectedly. He saw Joey trip, and fall down, as the trap came down.

He only needed one second to guess where the trap was going to fall, one second to see that Joey wasn’t getting up. Time seemed to slow down as JC realized horrified that Joey must have hit his head because he wasn’t getting up.

Then time stopped completely.

* * *

Joey had been waiting for the punishment since the moment he announced he was going to be a father, he just didn’t expect it would come in the form of a chance to traumatize the guys in the group and an out to form a new life, still away from hell, but also away from his friends and the one angel that was making his life turn around.

He slipped accidentally, and saw the trap door go up and down, and he knew it was going to fall on him. Cut his head clean, ending the life of Joey Fatone before he could actually become a good influence on the baby’s life.

Joey closed his eyes, getting ready for the fatal blow, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, he looked up again, only to see that the trap was still hovering on the top of the stage. He looked around, confused, and he saw that everything seemed frozen in place.

Everything except for Chris, who was standing a couple of feet away, face scrunched in concentration. His wings were open wide, shinning with the same intensity as the sun.

“What are you doing?” he asked, sitting down and letting go of his human mask. If Chris was going to show off his wings, Joey wasn’t going to hide his horns. And when Chris didn’t even blink, Joey realized that his identity wasn’t exactly secret.

“Saving your life?” Chris answered, looking a bit confused. “Are you getting out of there? I can keep time frozen forever, but that would be kind of boring.”

“I realize that, sure. Just tell me why?” Joey asked, getting out of the trap. He coiled his tail around his leg. “And since when do you know I’m a demon?”

“What? You’re not going to ask since when I am an angel?” Chris laughed, but he sounded nervous.

“I’ve known that you’re an angel since a couple of months ago,” Joey confessed, walking towards his enemy, his old friend. “Since when do you know I’m a demon?”

“A couple of months ago,” Chris confessed. “I just didn’t know you had discovered me too. Now, can you get out of there so I can put time back together again?”

“It’s not going to work.” Joey looked at Chris, memorizing his features. Seeing him now, without the human mask, was beautiful. Chris’s skin shone, and there were stars in the spikes of his hair. His wings were not white, but grey, like faint mist. Joey knew there would be no chance for them to meet again when he was assigned to his new life, and he didn’t want to forget. “I am being punished.”

“For Briahna?” Chris understood immediately, and Joey nodded. “She’s not yours.”

“No, but I’m helping her. You should realize that we’re not supposed to do that.”

“Still, death seems a little extreme, doesn’t it?” Chris looked at the platform over them. “Bri is just a little baby.”

“With my luck, she’ll cure cancer and bring about world peace,” Joey sighed. “Take care of her for me, ok? I know it’s your work and all, but I would appreciate it if you, you know, gave her a bit more attention.”

“You don’t want me taking care of her, trust me,” Chris laughed softly, and there was something in his tone that told Joey that there was a lot to the story that he wasn’t hearing.

There was a long awkward silence, in which obviously neither one knew what to say. Joey knew he was supposed to go down the trap and complete his punishment but he really didn’t know how to tell Chris that he had to let time run. How did you tell an angel, ‘it’s ok, I’ll be reborn almost immediately’?

“Why are you helping me?” he asked, wanting to end the silence. “Aren’t you supposed to hate my kind?”

“I am not capable of hate,” Chris told him, sounding a lot like a kid reciting a textbook. “And everyone deserves to get help.”

“We can’t stay like this,” Joey closed his eyes, restoring his human mask. “Look, my team knows that there’s an angel around us, but they don’t know it’s you. If I get hurt, they might decide it was enough. And later, we will talk, what do you think?”

“Fair enough,” Chris nodded, his glow losing its intensity as he hid his angelic nature. “Just keep your neck away from the platform or I’ll have to stop time again.”

* * *

“We need to talk.”

Chris looked up from the videogame he wasn’t really paying attention to and smiled at Joey. The demon was limping on his crutches, the only evidence of his accident after three weeks.

Three weeks that had been torture for Chris, between waiting to be admonished by his brothers, and not knowing if Joey would be punished further.

The truth was, he still loved Joey, even after seeing him as he truly was, with a tail, horns and the shroud of darkness around him.

“Yeah, we need to. Let’s go to your bus. We can tell Lance to switch,” Chris sighed, getting up. He could always stop time again, but he was not going to incur into another abuse of his limited heavenly powers for Joey if he could help it. The tour was about to start, so they were getting on the road, for a week of advance publicity.

“Way ahead of you. I asked him to stay here until our next stop,” Joey smiled leading the way.

The bus Lance and Joey shared was the same size as the other one, but looked bigger since it only had two bunk beds. Chris went to the back, sitting on one of the couches. He had no idea how to start.

“I’m not here to ruin anyone’s life.” Joey surprised him, going first. “I mean, I do that, on the side, but officially, I don’t want to cause you any troubles. I don’t want to fight.”

“I don’t want to fight either,” Chris answered. “And in case you’re wondering, I’m not on a mission either. I’m just trying to live my life.”

“Your life? Angels don’t have human lives. Everyone knows that!” Joey scoffed, and well, yes, he had a point. They were not even supposed to be on Earth for longer than it takes to say ‘oh, by the way, congratulations you’re pregnant!’ They watched. They suggested. They surely didn’t spend hours trying to beat a stupid videogame.

“I thought demons didn’t have lives either,” Chris said, as way of stalling. He wasn’t the best angel, but there are rules he didn’t break. And if Joey asked the right question, he wouldn’t be able to lie. “Still, you seem pretty well installed here. Since when are you pretending to be a Fatone?”

“I was born in the family, if you have to know,” Joey answered, and it surprised Chris that it didn’t sounded like a lie. “I am not working either.”

“Wait, so what? Demons get vacations in boy bands? Sounds a bit lame if you ask me, I thought your crowd would be more at home, I don’t know, in some rock band, if you really want to live the life of a human.”

Joey muttered something that sounded a lot like ‘it’s not by choice’, so Chris lifted an eyebrow. On one hand, what he was thinking was a terrible idea. It was the mother of terrible ideas, as bad as the time when he had figured that mentioning to the guy under his care that the Bible had been written by men and thus, could be edited. James had been a bit over eager on that one. On the other hand, when had any angel had a chance to figure out how demons thought? That could be important in the future. Big picture and all that.

“I’m being punished,” Chris said, finally. “I made a couple of really big mistakes, so I have to live life as a human a couple of times before I’m allowed to work as an angel again.”

“What did you do?” Joey looked curious, and Chris sighed. What he had done could fill a couple of long books, but he had always been forgiven. It was a good thing that his Father knew that Chris always acted out of good will.

“I sort of caused Black Tuesday, by trying to get people to understand that money is the root of all evil,” Chris confessed, looking down. “And World War I, but that was a complete accident. I was trying to save people’s lives.”

To his surprise, Joey didn’t laugh. Instead, he sat down next to him, with a tired sigh.

“I inspired a couple martyrs in my time,” Joey said, ruefully. “A really ironic thing. I was supposed to set them in the path to hell, and somehow, don’t ask me how, I ended up adding saints to your side.”

“I don’t believe you!” Chris turned to see his friend, surprised. “Come on, give me a name. You just can’t claim credit for saving souls and not give me a name!”

And, amazingly, Joey blushed so hard that it was even noticeable under the small red tint that now Chris could see without any problems. The demon looked embarrassed.

“Joan was the worst,” he finally confessed. “But I’ve got a history with civil disobedience that doesn’t end up in chaos and mayhem.”

“Joan… of Arc? Maid of Orleans?” Chris smiled. “Oh, I’m a big fan of yours then. She did good.”

“I know,” Joey shook his head irritated. Obviously, it was a sore spot. “Then again, the fall of the market was an inspired work. None of our side could’ve done it better.”

“Shut up!” Chris looked annoyed, but in truth he was somewhat amused. It was odd, that there was someone in the other side who had also suffered mishaps like he had. Joey turned to see him at the same time, and they held each other’s gazes for a long time.

Chris didn’t know what excuse Joey had, but for Chris it was a mixture of always wanting to be close to the shadows, the irresistible attraction that it held for him. He didn’t know why, but when Joey leaned in closer, fixing his eyes on Chris’s, opening his mouth slightly to touch Chris’s lips, Chris couldn’t move.

The first contact was electric. Chris felt as if fire was touching his lips, lighting his body. Chris had kissed his share of mortals, both in this life and the one before, but none of those kisses felt the same way as Joey’s lips felt on his, the sensation of wholeness that made him open his own mouth, trying to get closer to Joey, to his demon.

It was only the memory of what Joey was what made him stop, pushing Joey away even when he wanted nothing but to let that kiss go forever. Stop time around them so nothing would come between them again.

It was sweet temptation, but he couldn’t fall prey to it.

“Joey, we can’t,” he said instead, getting away from Joey’s embrace. Joey’s shirt was unbuttoned and Chris couldn’t honestly remember when he had done that.

“Oh, you’re going to tell me that your side really has problems with same sex relationships?” Joey asked, angry.

“It’s not that,” Chris shook his head. “We don’t care as long as there’s love involved. But you are a demon, and I am an angel, and I know you know what that means.”

“So, you can’t kiss me because I am a demon?” Joey now was past angry, there was fire behind his eyes. “I don’t have a problem with you being an angel!”

Chris lowered his eyes, finding his hands very interesting. He had just told Joey the number one reason why they couldn’t be together, but of course, Joey hadn’t understood. It was in his nature, just as it was in Chris’s nature to suffer for it.

He waited for a long time before looking up, and when he did, Joey had gone to his bunk. They spent the remainder of the trip not talking to each other, and Chris was grateful for that. He didn’t think he could remain true to the rules if Joey was talking to him.

* * *

Joey spent a week angry, between wanting to go back and kick Chris’s ass all the way back to heaven or simply kissing him until he forgot all about not wanting to be with Joey.

During that week, Joey did everything in his power not to talk to Chris, avoiding him at all times. If Chris entered a room, Joey left it immediately. If Chris wanted to talk, Joey ignored him. And he could’ve kept going like that if it wasn’t because it also started to be noticeable in the shows. JC, Lance and Justin were starting to get worried, and the last thing Joey wanted was to worry them.

When he realized he was thinking that, Joey felt sick. He was a demon, for hell’s sake. He was supposed to make people worry, suffer and, in general have a terrible life. He wasn’t supposed to feel sorry if three mortals were suddenly concerned because he wasn’t talking to his best friend.

His best friend, who was an angel, the very opposite of him. An angel, and Joey wanted to kill him, and to hold him, and everything was Chris’s fault because ever since the kiss he couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t Chris. Chris’s taste, Chris’s light. Touching him had felt right, had felt perfect and for a moment, Joey had been able to forget that he was a failure, that he was supposed to be punished.

And Chris had pushed him away.

Joey truly hated him, and he wanted to make Chris suffer as much as he was suffering.

“Joe, are you all right? You’ve been acting funny lately,” Justin said, entering his room because Joey always forgot to close the door.

“I’m fine, J. It’s just that it finally caught up with me,” Joey answered, smiling. He knew how to hurt Chris the most. “You know, I’m a dad. I’ll never be just ‘me’ again.”

* * *

Chris was feeling miserable. After Joey had left him alone, he had regretted pushing him away immediately even if he knew that having any kind of relationship with a demon was forbidden. Some mornings, he didn’t care. Some mornings, he was very glad that Joey was too full of pride to talk to him again because that meant that he could avoid the temptation.

He wished that things were back as they were before, when Joey didn’t know Chris was an angel. He wondered what had gotten into them when they kissed. That had been stupid, even when he just wanted to feel the demon’s lips on his again. Chris was convinced that if they hadn’t kissed, if Joey hadn’t ruined everything with that stupid, perfect kiss, they would have been a way for them to learn to live with each other.

They had managed to be friendly, when they didn’t know the other knew their real identity.

And now Joey was hitting the final nails on Chris’s heart, undoing all of Chris’s hard work with Justin. Chris had spent almost 7 years keeping Justin’s pride at a manageable level, trying to remind him to stay humble no matter what, and Joey – with the help of Johnny, his mom and a couple thousand fans - had managed to convince the kid that he was the best thing to happen to pop music in just six months. Chris knew that nothing short of a Dickens’s style celestial visit would change Justin’s mind. And he had no authority to pull that stunt.

So instead, he focused on Joey’s personal pet project. Chris had figured out that Joey had a special interest in Lance, given the purity of Lance’s soul.

He knew that he still could help Justin, if Joey lost interest in him. In the mean time, he was going to make Lance realize that the only way to be happy was to be true to himself.

* * *

Years later, when fans asked why *N Sync had broke up and never told anyone until five years after the fact, Justin would gladly take the blame. JC would talk about growing, and the need to find their own voices. Lance usually fell back to the old ‘no comment’.

The truth was that none of them wanted to remember the last group meeting, back in 2002, after Russia, when Justin’s first album was going strong, and JC was barely starting to promote his own. They all were ready to start talking about new songs, the new album and how to juggle two solo careers with the group.

None of them knew exactly why Joey and Chris’s friendship had deteriorated so much. They all had their theories though, and had talked about them in private. Lance thought that it had something to do with the time at the end of the No Strings Attached tour when the two of them seemed to compete over everything. JC was sure that Joey had made a move on one of Chris’s girlfriends. Justin thought it was the other way around, that maybe Chris had tried to make a move on Kelly, when Joey and Kel were having an off time.

Whatever it was, it all came to an end when Chris looked up from his chair to meet Joey’s eyes as Joey spoke about maybe getting more dancers for future shows.

“And how are you supposed to take care of Briahna if you’re always on the road?” he asked, curious.

“Kelly and I have an agreement. What, don’t you want us to go back together?” Joey frowned, surprised at the interruption.

“I’m just saying, you’ve been doing such a great job being an influence on that kid, it would be a pity if she grew up without a constant father figure.” Chris shrugged, and everyone held their breaths. They knew what Chris thought of absent fathers.

“I think I know how to be an influence on my own daughter, thank you very much,” Joey had growled, and JC, wisely, took his soda away from the table. “And it isn’t as if you have much room to talk. What have you been doing for the past few years anyway? Sitting on your couch wishing you had the guts to do something crazy?”

That one had come out of left field for everyone, since they all knew that Chris was best known for jumping first and looking later. But Joey seemed serious about it.

“It’s been almost two years, you can let that go.”

“I can’t because you never told me what was wrong,” Joey was now on Chris’s face, features contorted with rage. “Why the fuck you threw me away?”

“I didn’t throw you away, you stopped talking to me!” Chris defended himself, getting up from his chair.

“Because you just decided I wasn’t worth your time!”

“I never did that!”

“Sure you did! ‘You are Joey, and I am Chris, and I know you know what that means’ does that sound familiar?”

“Don’t throw my words back at me!” Chris demanded. “You know what I was talking about back then!”

“Sure, I’m fine to pass the time with but not for something serious? That’s racism!”

“Now you’re grasping at straws! And you’re just showing exactly why things wouldn’t work! You’re leaving Kelly for the group!”

“What has that to do with anything? With us?”

“Simple! It’s about the love for your family! Something that you obviously don’t know about!”

“What? You think I can’t love?”

“I know you can’t love, Joey. Not in a way that counts!”

Lance turned around to see JC, whispering in his ear. “Do you have any idea what they’re talking about?”

“None,” JC whispered back. “J?”

“Absolutely no idea,” Justin answered, just in time to see Joey turn around and leave the room, slamming the door behind him. Chris looked at them, frustrated, before turning and leaving. Justin hoped that he went to look for Joey, but he knew the chances of that were slim.

After that, thinking about getting the group back together had been scrapped until the next time they could talk. Unfortunately, there was never a chance, since every time they met, Chris and Joey would go back to the old argument, and they still didn’t know what it was about since both avoided the subject whenever the other wasn’t in the room. New theories were created after that Lance was sure that Chris was gay and wanted Joey; JC was sure it was the other way around. Justin didn’t care either way. He just wanted the two of them to fix their problems before things got worse.

Sometimes, Justin wished he could say that *N Sync had broken up because they had been too chicken to ask their friends exactly what was wrong with them.

By 2005, they couldn’t be left together in the same room. It was then when Lance said the words that no one wanted to hear.

“Guys, I think it’s time we accept that the hiatus is not going to be temporary.”

 

* * *

“Chris, we need to talk,” Aftiel appeared in Chris’s living room one sunny morning in August. Chris hadn’t been doing anything particularly important, so he didn’t mind when time stopped around him. He figured punishment for his little indiscretion with Joey had been just late in paperwork.

“It is always an honor to see you, Aftiel,” Chris began to say, then frowned as he saw the state of the other angel. Her hair still shone like a star, her wings were still the same color as the clouds, but there was something off around her. Something weird. “What’s going on?”

“Father has decided there’s a change needed,” Aftiel said, lowering her head. “Hell is almost full.”

“What? I thought that was impossible,” Chris frowned. Heaven and Hell were infinite. They couldn’t get full.

“Well, we don’t know how it happened, but it did.” Aftiel folded her wings. “People have just lost hope. Once they get condemned, they don’t care anymore. Hell is hell, and if they will never get out, why should they try to make things better once they’re there?”

“So Father changed the rules of Hell?” Chris was doubtful. While he understood the problem of hopelessness –if he thought there was no way to go back to Heaven, why try to keep doing his job? - “What are the new rules?”

“Father is still working the details with the Fallen, but we’re staring a new program with the guardians. That’s why I’m here.” Aftiel sat down on Chris’s kitchen chair, looking disturbingly mortal. “He thinks you’ve done a better job since being down here, so now Guardians will have to spend time as humans, to help us understand them better.”

“Well, I can see His point, although you will need a lot of experience to deal with some of the stuff down here. If you’re doing it from birth, the first ten years or so can be a little overwhelming.” Chris sat next to her, smiling. On one hand he felt terribly sorry for the guys who would be selected for the first wave of this new type of guardians, but on the other hand, he felt happy. This meant he wouldn’t be alone anymore, even if he was still punished.

“That’s were you come in,” Aftiel said, her smile making her glow grow brighter. “Well, that and the other part of the program. Since Hell’s rules are changing, we will be working in teams with the demons. Father believes that it will restore the balance in the end, and right now demons want more souls to be saved before they get over flown so they will cooperate. We’ll be opening Purgatory again.”

“Teams? With demons?” Chris opened his eyes, surprised. “That’s new. I don’t think we’ve done that since… what? 300 B.C?”

“Little longer,” Aftiel nodded. “As you can imagine, not everyone is exactly happy with the news.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Chris chuckled. “What I don’t see is where I do come in. I know I have experience living on Earth, but my record at salvation is crap.”

Aftiel smiled softly, a strange expression that Chris didn’t fully understood right then. “It may be, but Father says that you have worked, however accidentally, with a demon before. The one who was near you and the group.”

Chris groaned. He knew that his secret was no longer a secret. “You know who is he, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Aftiel agreed. “Father also said that you love him.”

Chris didn’t bothered denying it, because it was useless to deny the truth. He had fallen in love with Joey long ago and knowing he was a demon didn’t change things. He still loved Joey, but he knew that it was a futile longing. Joey didn’t love him, because demons couldn’t love.

“Does he know that we’re supposed to work together?” he asked, instead. Refusing to obey wasn’t an option either. Although he was sure that Joey wouldn’t want to cooperate.

“He should contact you soon,” Aftiel said, touching his cheek with loving care. “I have to go now, but Father sends a message. He said to tell you that since you managed what all of us thought was impossible, your punishment is over. Your powers are restored, and you can return to Heaven for short visits whenever you want. He also said that you know it’s not wrong.”

Before Chris could ask what she meant by that, Aftiel disappeared.

“And that’s why I don’t like Messengers,” Chris said, to no one in particular. “They never give you the message straight if they can twist it in a riddle.”

Smiling, he decided to go out and buy some beer. If Aftiel was right, and Joey was coming, they might as well have something to drink.

* * *

“You are the sorriest excuse for a demon in all history of hell,” Lou’s voice startled Joey, who was trying to figure out how to assemble the latest playpen he had bought Briahna. Kelly complained that he was spoiling her daughter, and damn right he was. She wasn’t going to want for anything as long as Joey was walking on Earth. “And you’re also the luckiest bastard ever created.”

“What are you doing here now, Lou? Don’t tell me that you were just passing through, please.” To Joey’s surprise, Lou wasn’t wearing his human mask. He was there, standing in a pink room with little purple flowers, in all his demonic glory, fire on the hooves and all. That was highly unusual, since Lou had always preferred to keep the human mask at all times. It was for practice, he said.

“Hell is about to burst, Joe,” Lou said, walking around the play pen with distaste. “The higher ups say it’s our fault, that we’re too damn good at our job. And maybe that’s true, but no one told us that there was a full capacity limit, did they?”

“Nope.” Joey had no idea what was Lou going on about but he figured that if he let him talk, the fat demon would tell him.

“And of course, there is the fact that there’s no way we can retire. Humans keep getting condemned without *our* help. So the bigwigs of the ninth level went to talk to Him and His, and apparently, He already knew that this was going to happen.”

“He always knows,” Joey said, shrugging. He had been expecting a lighting bolt from Heaven ever since he had dared to kiss Chris. “So what now? What did He decide?”

It was something well known in Hell. They were at eternal war with Heaven, but at the end, it was Him who set the rules. It kept a balance between everything, and that balance wasn’t supposed to be broken, not even by the most evil demon in Hell.

“We’re going to work in teams, something about giving humans’ hope, so they will fear us again. I didn’t pay much attention, since I got promoted. My human mask will have a heart attack in a couple of months, and I’ll be off dispensing punishment in Circle Five.” Lou looked amused at the idea of demons and angels working together, but Joey couldn’t figure out why. His mind was fixed on the time that, unwillingly, he had been working with an Angel, somehow.

“Thanks for the warning, I won’t be standing in the teams way then,” Joey sighed, hoping for the demon to go away.

“Oh, no, no, my friend,” Lou laughed with a deep, cavernous laugh that reminded Joey of every single villain on the children’s movies he bought for Briahna. “You see, you have experience dealing with angels. And you kept it well-hidden from us, which in the old rules would mean fifty more lifetimes without most of your powers and living this miserable life. But now, it means that you’re forgiven.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either, Apparently, your mistakes didn’t add to the problem and managed to stop it for a while, what with so many people following your martyrs’ example,” Lou shrugged. “Don’t think you’re free, though. That ‘experience’ put you on top of the list for the ‘team’ effort project. You’re going to work with an angel now.”

Joey froze. He knew what Lou was going to say next. He knew the name of the angel that was going to be mentioned, and he knew why Lou was smiling as if he was torturing a mortal. The secret was out.

“Does he know?” Joey asked, trying to keep his voice low. Getting overemotional wouldn’t help. Inside, he chuckled. He had spent too much time as a human. He was thinking like one now.

“I’m impressed,” Lou said, as if he hadn’t heard Joey. “I never knew he was an angel when I tried to get him to sign my first contract. He must be quite a good little guardian, if he was sent as the first earthbound agent. You didn’t have a chance against him.”

“What are you talking about?” Joey frowned.

“Joe, Joe, Joe,” Lou said, shaking his head in the same paternalistic way that Joey had hated when the fat demon had been his manager. “You’re big news down home. Bad enough you feel some connection to the mortals, but with an Angel? Either he’s very good, or you’re very stupid. How could you fall in love?”

“I’m not in love,” Joey looked away. He didn’t want to think the word connected to Chris. “We can’t love, remember?”

“Oh, we can,” Lou said, as he started to disappear in a huge bonfire. “But the smart ones chose not to.”

* * *

It was almost midnight when Joey finally arrived at Chris’s house. He had been hesitant about it, still confused about Lou’s visit, and everything that he had implied. Discovering that he had full access to all his powers had been a surprise, and he had been testing them, feeling a little like when he had been relearning to use his leg after the accident. It had been too long, as his impromptu visit to Moscow when he tried to go to Lance’s house in LA proved, but he finally managed to appear in a cloud of brimstone and fire right at Chris’s doorstep.

“You took your time,” Chris was sitting on the floor, smiling at him. Joey felt his heart stop as he saw Chris, for the first time, in all his angelic glory. His hair, which had been getting longer in the past years, was still brown, almost black, and it looked as if the stars of heaven had decided to live in it, as it glittered and shone under the moon. His wings were open wide, and now Joey could see they were almost the same color as the grey clouds that announced a small spring rain. The only thing that broke the effect was the Steelers t-shirt and the faded jeans Chris was wearing.

“I took a small detour,” Joey sighed. “Can you get down here or you want me to go and get you?”

Chris didn’t answer, just floated down, showing off his wings that seemed to disappear in light as he touched the ground.

“How are Kelly and Bri?” Chris asked, after a small, uncomfortable silence.

“Briahna is growing like crazy. Sometimes I just want to stop time so she’ll still be my little girl for a bit longer,” Joey confessed. Somehow, standing next to Chris, those feelings weren’t a source of shame. “Kelly is fine. Wondering why you have never come to visit us.”

“I thought I wouldn’t be welcome, after what I said last time,” Chris wasn’t looking at him, and Joey figured he was remembering their last fight, when Chris had accused him of not loving Briahna. Joey remembered that fight quite well, as he had been puzzled over it for months, just as he had wondered about why Chris had pushed him away after kissing him with so much feeling.

“You’re always welcome in my house,” Joey said, smiling weakly. “Despite the whole thing, we’re friends, right? We were friends before we found out about each other’s origins. And you didn’t change suddenly when I found out that you were an angel, and I sure didn’t change when you found out I was a demon.”

“That’s true,” Chris nodded, smiling despite himself. “I guess that’s why we ended up being chosen to be a team. You have any idea what are we supposed to do?”

“As far as I know, the same thing we did when we were in the group. None of them is going to be condemned to Hell thanks to your good example,” Joey said, sighing dramatically. He had tried his best with Justin, but all the ego in the world couldn’t compete with the fact that the kid was still faithful to his loved ones, to his family, and even to his friends, no matter what the public eye thought.

“Their ticket to heaven isn’t sure either, thanks to you,” Chris answered, hitting him softly on the shoulder. “I guess we can keep doing that. We can’t mess things up worse than we did when we were working solo.”

“Funny thing, my side seems to think you’re some sort of super angel,” Joey said, trying to broach the subject. Part of him wanted to stay silent, but the bigger part knew that he wouldn’t be able to work for an eternity with Chris without addressing his feelings. “Because of what happened between us.”

“Nothing happened between us,” Chris shook his head, sadly.

“Chris, I kissed you. And you kissed me back. Trust me, I remember that clearly. You rocked my world.”

“And you rocked mine,” Chris mumbled. “But it’s better if we forget it. Trust me.”

“No!” Joey turned around, grabbing Chris by the shoulders. “Fuck, Chris, I mean it when I say that you changed everything! You turned my world upside down, and you’re not making me forget about it!”

“Joey,” Chris looked into Joey’s eyes, biting his lower lip. “I love you, I can’t lie about that. But I love you the way you are, and if we were to be together, you would have to love me. That would change you and I just can’t let that happen to you. So just forget about it.”

“Too late,” Joey shook his head. Angels were too complicated for his taste. “I already love you, so we can choose between being noble and suffering alone, or try to figure out where we fit in the bigger picture.”

“Demons can’t love,” Chris said, but he didn’t try to move away. It seemed to Joey that he was testing him. “Everybody knows that.”

“Well, then, everybody’s wrong,” Joey whispered, leaning close to Chris’s lips. “Because I’m pretty sure you know that I love you.”


End file.
